This is going to be my final post to wrap up my depression stories. I am simply going to recap some of the lessons I learned, and why I started this side project on my nutrition blog.
The first thing about mental illness, like depression, is that it can happen to anyone. Mine has no real cause other than some biochemical bullshit happening in my brain. Our society stigmatizes mental illness, which is a problem because nobody talks about it, and people are afraid to get care. Imagine if people treated mental illness like broken bones. There really should be no reason for people to treat others poorly because of an illness.
Secondly, some of my darkest days shaped my future for the better. Because of my depression, I figured out what I wanted to do with life. I had reshaped my life, and started to figure out what worked, and what did not. I could not see that things were going to be better then. People have a tendency to be unable to see the forest from the trees. If your present sucks now, take steps to make the future better, and it will be better.
Third, change sucks, but if you embrace it, good things can come out of it. Much like a plant my mother transplants during gardening, when first moved into new soil, it wilts. But, if taken care of, it can bloom into a motherfucking monster of a tomato plant that makes some damn fine produce.
Lastly, be humble about things. Treat others, as well as yourself, with respect. I appreciate what people have done for me in the past, even if it didn’t seem it at the time. I also can look in the mirror, and see my flaws. I am human, so perfection is an impossible goal. Being ambitious, I strive to reach it, but I know I will not reach it. Still, because I respect myself, I seek happiness in my work. Life is not about the successes you have, but how you get back up from failure, and those who help you recover.
Currently, I am happy to be alive. The fruits of my labors are paying off. I got into the dietetics program in university, so my dreams are coming true. I have loving friends and family who have supported me the whole way.
But, in all honesty, it is possible I could have not been able to see it. Often, I have thought about suicide. It fucking sucks, to say the least. Had I gone through, I would not have been able to find the happiness that life has bestowed upon me now. So, for anyone even considering committing suicide, I beg you, please, don’t. Life might not be peachy now, but it can be in the future. Get help, there is no shame in doing so. Hopefully, my life story inspires someone out there to get the help they deserve. People out there do care, and life is an amazingly wonderful thing.