Depression Stories

Giving Up by Amigreat

The final story before my epilogue comes from spring term of 2015.  This is a case where the bigger they are, the harder they fall.  Now, coming from winter term, I had gotten a 4.0.  A fucking 4.0.  In college.  Not to mention, I was taking organic chemistry.  Organic.  Fucking.  Chemistry.  So, I think it is safe to say I was hot shit.  However, like actual high-temperature fecal materials, shit’s still shit.  I got knocked down a couple pegs the next term.

In an attempt to make my resume look better, I decided to try my hand at computer science.  Little did I know at the time, but this would probably be one of the biggest errors I would make in college.  Now, like my many other youthful peers, I have done dumb shit like procrastinate on a project until last minute, or forget about due dates or whatever.  Hell, I even done social faux pas that probably made me some enemies (I mean, I swear like a sailor, and can talk about controversial topics, like religion and politics, in a controversial manner, so don’t h8 m8).  I have not made mistakes that resulted in police action though, so there’s a plus.  My mistake was trying to educate myself in another field.  Go figure, that I get in trouble for trying to better myself, and others get in trouble for having weed and alcohol underage.

So what was so bad about computer science?  Well, for starters, since I had ZERO experience with coding, I sucked at trying to learn C++.  Congrats to those of you who can code a billion lines of code and get something cool to happen, I can barely code to get the computer to say “you fucking suck at coding, motherfucker.”  Secondly, the professor and teaching assistants I found less than helpful.  I tried my best, and yet there was a lack of understanding.  When I approached them for help, they gave a “this is easy” vibe, when I was struggling.  Fortunately, I was able to get the class on a pass/fail grading system, since I did not need it for my major.  For the first time in my entire educational career, I failed a class.

So, what did I learn?  Well, this class knocked me flat on my ass in a one-hit KO.  I learned to be humbler.  I also learned that human health is really my domain, and I should stay there.  I am all for branching out and trying new things (I mean, I am minoring in writing), but know your limits as well.  I went through this Hell, and I emerged relatively unscathed.  Sure, I had pissed away some money for the class, but the only thing that really got damaged was my pride.  I still made Honor Roll, because I did well enough in my other classes.  But damn, did this pull my head out of my ass.

By The Nutrition Punk

I am a dietitian living in Portland, Oregon. I write about a variety of nutrition and heath topics, with the goal of improving people's understanding of food and nutrition so they may be empowered against all the misinformation that is out there.

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